Parents of Bullies Blame Themselves for Their Children's Bullying

The majority of Spanish parents feel directly responsible when they find out they have a child who bullies or attacks their schoolmates. This is indicated by the survey conducted by the organization Educar es todo and the company Totto, which, for their fifth barometer on this scourge, released on the eve of the international day against school bullying, interviewed 1,732 minors, parents of students, and teachers from across the country.

Three out of five parents, 60%, believe they are even more guilty than their children for the bullying episodes that minors perpetrate against other students. They understand, in an even higher percentage in the age group of 35 to 44 years, that their children's harmful and aggressive behavior is due to their inability to educate them in empathy and the importance of respecting others, values that, if internalized, would have prevented and avoided them becoming bullies of their peers.

Moreover, the vast majority of parents, eight out of ten, think that they are indeed the group that can do the most to end bullying in educational centers. They are not the only ones with this conviction. 90% of teachers agree with this statement and consider that it is the parents who can truly end these attacks on coexistence in classrooms if they decide to get involved and act.

Psychologist Diana Jiménez, who participated in the presentation of the study, explained that different educational styles (permissive, authoritarian, or democratic) can foster or reduce, depending on the case, bullying in our society and reminded that "our children learn from us, and if they witness violent attitudes, it is very easy for them to normalize and reproduce them."

Natalia Díaz, an activist for children's rights, highlighted another factor with which some parents directly contribute to their children suffering bullying in classrooms: the overexposure of minors on social networks. "Cyberbullying occurs when a child is harassed, threatened, and shamed by another through the internet. And it can happen because the images or information shared by parents on social networks are humiliating for the minor. Although we think the content we publish is harmless, the truth is it can cause a lot of harm," she warned.

The check on the state of school coexistence in Spain highlights a second conclusion. School bullying, far from subsiding, is increasing among students aged 5 to 17. Several data attest to this. The most relevant was provided by the minors interviewed themselves. One in four, 24.7%, said they had suffered bullying firsthand. The percentage is slightly more than a point higher than a year ago, and the problem has continued to increase in the five editions of the barometer.

Two other responses corroborate the truth of these confessions. 40% of students explained that they have been direct witnesses of some bullying episode against classmates, a percentage also on the rise, as is the proportion of parents reporting having children victims of bullying.

Alongside the increase in bullying, two other factors indicate that schools and institutes are not doing enough to reduce the problem. The first is that almost half, 46%, more than in previous surveys, of minors confess that when they witness a bullying case, they stand by. They claim they prefer not to get involved and stay on the sidelines even if they feel sorry for the victim of the attack or humiliation. The second is that victims lament the little support they received from their teachers (only 46% got their help) and the even lesser support from school officials, who only supported 36%. Their greatest supports, they clarified, were their parents (86%) and their friends (65%).

Parents also expressed in the barometer their concern about the arrival of artificial intelligence tools in their children's lives and disagree with their introduction into the educational routine. They believe it is a double-edged sword where the damages it can cause today seem greater than the benefits.

60% of parents and 70% of teachers fear the damage this technology can do to minors. Half of the parents consider that the uncontrolled use of these tools by children, a trend that has already been detected, can increase cyberbullying of their children, with acts such as the digital dissemination of images or compromising dialogues falsified by other classmates.

Minors, parents, and teachers agree on what some of the measures should be to eradicate bullying in schools. Among the most repeated are: establishing clear protocols to detect and act, increasing preventive measures and strategies in schools, such as raising student awareness, prioritizing the use of dialogue and joint resolution as ways to solve cases, and seeking and understanding the reasons behind the behavior of bullies.